Owning a pet is like joining an exclusive club where the dress code is covered in fur and the conversations revolve around poop consistency. But not all pet owners are the same. Some are chill, some are extra, and some are so extra they make you question whether they’re raising a golden retriever or a child prodigy. And honestly? I LOVE every single one of you. Because at the end of the day, no matter how ridiculous, over-the-top, or hilariously laid-back you are, you’re all here for the same reason—because you adore your pets. So, let’s take a look at the different species of pet owners you’ll encounter in the wild (and yes, I adore them all).
1. The Helicopter Pet Parent
This owner watches their pet like a hawk—no, worse than a hawk. Every scratch is an emergency, every sneeze requires a full diagnostic workup, and they have their vet’s number saved under “Lifeline.” They have a baby monitor set up for their dog, their cat has a full wardrobe of weather-appropriate outfits, and they’ve researched the pet food industry so thoroughly that they could give a TED Talk titled, Why I Home-Cook My Dog’s Meals Using Only Organic Quinoa and Grass-Fed Bison. And the truth is? I love you. Your level of commitment is inspiring, and if I ever turn into a dog, I want to be yours.
2. The “They’re Just a Pet” Owner
This owner loves their pet, sure, but in a casual way. The dog gets fed, walked, and generally cared for, but they aren’t about to throw a birthday party for it. They’ll roll their eyes at people who call themselves “pet parents” and refer to their dog simply as “the dog.” They also somehow always have dogs with names like “Rex” or “Buddy” and couldn’t tell you what brand of food they buy—just that it “comes in a big bag.” But guess what? I love you too. Your dog is happy, well cared for, and blissfully unaware of the doggy spa world, and that’s just fine.
3. The Over-Explainer
“Oh, he’s not aggressive, he just gets anxious when he sees men, loud noises, people walking too fast, or the color red.” This owner has a reason for everything their pet does and will share the entire backstory whether you asked for it or not. Their dog isn’t barking because it’s poorly trained—it’s because Mercury is in retrograde and they missed their 3 p.m. enrichment session. And I genuinely love you. Your dedication to understanding your pet’s emotions is amazing, and I bet your dog thinks you’re the best therapist ever.
4. The Instagram Influencer Pet Parent
If you’ve ever seen a dog with more followers than you, this is their owner. Their pet has an entire wardrobe, a professional photoshoot schedule, and a skincare routine. They can name at least five dog-friendly brunch spots, and their Instagram captions are things like, “Living my best floofy life! #Blessed #DogMomLife.” They probably refer to themselves as their pet’s “momager” and own at least one matching outfit. And I love you because you make sure your pet is always clean, happy, and living their best life. Plus, your dog is probably internet famous, and I’m here for it. (In fact, I've probably already hit the "follow" button.)
5. The “They Train Themselves” Owner
Their dog is a 100-pound wrecking ball with zero boundaries, but according to them, “he’s just a little stubborn.” This owner believes dogs just know how to behave, despite clear evidence to the contrary. Their idea of training is yelling “Stop that!” and shrugging when it doesn’t work. Their dog pulls like a freight train on walks, jumps on everyone, and has a general “I do what I want” attitude. They think obedience classes are a scam. Their neighbors do not agree. I love you because, despite your dog being a lovable disaster, you cherish them completely. How could I possibly not?
6. The “I Swear They’re Smart” Owner
This owner is convinced their dog is a genius, despite overwhelming proof otherwise. Their dog eats socks, chases their own tail for hours, and gets stuck behind furniture at least once a day, but the owner will swear, “He’s actually really smart! He just doesn’t like to show off.” If they own a Border Collie or a Poodle, they have a binder full of "brain games" that their dog refuses to participate in. Without a doubt, I love you. Your faith in your pet is unshakable, and that’s beautiful.
7. The “It’s a Baby, Not a Pet” Owner
These owners have fully embraced the idea that their pet is their child. They refer to themselves as “Mommy” or “Daddy,” and their pet has a stroller, a middle name, and possibly even their own will. If they have a dog, they throw birthday parties with dog-friendly cake and party hats. If they have a cat, they speak to them in full sentences and seem genuinely shocked when the cat ignores them. I love you wholeheartedly,because if anyone deserves to be spoiled, it’s our pets.
8. The Rescue Missionary
This owner is on a mission to make sure you only adopt pets from shelters. If you mention buying a dog from a breeder, prepare for a 45-minute lecture complete with statistics, guilt-tripping, and possibly an unsolicited link to an adoption website. They have at least three rescue dogs, all of whom came with behavioral quirks they describe as “charming.” Their life motto? “Adopt, don’t shop!” I love you. Because you care deeply about animals in need, and the world could use more of that.
9. The “One More Won’t Hurt” Owner
This person started with one pet, and now their house is a full-fledged animal sanctuary. “We weren’t planning on getting another one, but…” is a sentence they say at least once a year. Their couch is covered in fur, their car permanently smells like a pet store, and they no longer know how many pet beds they own. I authentically love you because your heart is so big that you always have room for one more.
10. The “My Dog Is My Wingman” Owner
This owner knows that a cute dog is the ultimate social icebreaker. They take their dog everywhere—dog parks, coffee shops, breweries—because they know that a friendly pup is an instant conversation starter. Their dating profile has at least three pictures of them with their dog, and their bio probably includes something like, “If my dog doesn’t like you, neither will I.” I love you, because you’re not wrong. If your dog doesn't like someone, you shouldn't either.
So, Which One Are You?
Let’s be honest—we all have a little bit of at least one of these in us. And no matter what kind of pet owner you are, and I really do mean it, when I say I love all of you. Because at the end of the day, no matter how ridiculous we may seem to outsiders, we know one thing for sure—life is so much better with pets. And we are much better people for having pets. And that’s what really matters.
Comentarios