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How to Bond with Your New Dog (Without Smothering Them Like an Overenthusiastic Grandmother)

Traci Fulkerson, CVT

So, you’ve got a new dog—congratulations! You’re officially the proud owner of a furry, four-legged roommate who is still trying to figure out if you’re their best friend or just a strangely clingy human who won’t stop staring at them. Naturally, you want to bond, but there’s a fine line between building trust and becoming that person who coos, “DO YOU LOVE ME YET?!” every five minutes.




Step 1: Give Them a Minute

Imagine being dropped into a new house where everyone speaks an entirely different language, and your host won’t stop hugging you. Overwhelming, right? Your new dog might be feeling the same way. Let them settle in at their own pace. Yes, you’re excited. Yes, you want them to immediately realize that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to them. But chill. Desperation is not a good look

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Step 2: Don’t Be Weird About It

You don’t need to launch an intensive 48-hour bonding campaign where you never leave their side, narrate their every move, and insist on constant eye contact. Dogs appreciate companionship, but they also appreciate not feeling like they’re under investigation. So, act normal. Go about your day. Let them come to you. And maybe don’t whisper, “Love me” while they’re trying to nap.


Step 3: Walk Before You Cling

The fastest way to a dog’s heart? Walks. Not over-the-top, soul-searching hikes where you make them stare into the sunset with you—just good old-fashioned, sniff-every-fire-hydrant strolls. Walking together builds trust, gives them mental stimulation, and lets them learn that you’re the fun person who takes them places. Bonus: It also tires them out, which means fewer zoomies in the house.


Step 4: Treats, But Make It Subtle

Yes, treats work. No, you don’t need to carry a fanny pack overflowing with snacks and shower them with treats every time they glance in your direction. Use food wisely—reward calm behavior, good manners, and moments when they check in with you. If you become a nonstop treat dispenser, your dog will bond with the snack bag, not you.


Step 5: The Power of Chill Time

Not every bonding moment has to be an event. Some of the best connections happen when you’re just existing together—lounging on the couch, sitting in the backyard, or casually hanging out without forcing interaction. Dogs respect personal space. If they sidle up next to you, congrats! You’re officially their chosen human. (Or, more likely, they’re testing your furniture rules.)


Step 6: Play, But Don’t Be a Lunatic About It

Playing with your dog is a great way to bond—but gauge their energy level. If your dog is a laid-back snoozer and you come at them with a full agility course and a dozen tennis balls, they’re going to think you’ve lost your mind. Find what they enjoy—tug, fetch, gentle wrestling, or even a “let’s just lay here and chew things” session. Play should be fun, not an Olympic-level bonding boot camp.


Step 7: Respect the Introvert (If You Have One)

Some dogs are not into cuddles, face kisses, or over-the-top affection—and that’s okay! If your dog looks at you like you just proposed a lifelong spooning arrangement and backs away slowly, take the hint. Bonding isn’t about forcing love; it’s about building trust. Give them space, and they’ll come around in their own time.


Step 8: Be Consistent, Not Overwhelming

Dogs bond with people who make them feel safe and secure—not people who turn their lives into a nonstop emotional rollercoaster. Keep routines predictable, your energy calm, and your expectations reasonable. You don’t need to throw a puppy bonding ceremony or document every interaction like a proud parent at a kindergarten recital. Just be there, be patient, and be the person your dog can trust.


Final Thought: Play It Cool

The best relationships—human or canine—are built on mutual respect, patience, and just the right amount of enthusiasm. Love your new dog, enjoy the process, and try not to suffocate them with affection. If they end up glued to your side, staring at you like you hung the moon, congratulations—you did it right. And if not? Well, bribery (aka treats) is always an option.

 
 
 

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